ALF

The chewing gum is so thin there, you can see some of the floor. Where it says Built by Metro Camel. The passengers mumble it to themselves. Endlessly. On their way to work. Glad I don't have to go. Doesn't look like they enjoy it.

The flavours keep me busy in here. I suck the fruit sauces off the red hangers in the ceiling. All change please. This is the last stop. All change.  You see the tourists sitting there, wondering what is going to happen.  All change what? Trains dummkopf, even I know that.

The flavours change every zone. Central zone's strawberry. Zone two's apple. Zone three's banana. The outer zones're all coffee. Someone should tell control, coffee's not fruit.  It's really moreish. It's only a flavouring. I know the real reason I eat it isn't the taste.

Coffee's the world's most popular drug, I heard them say.  Water's my drink. That and the purple syrup they give me if I make enough hits. 

MIND THE GAP. STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS.

The words scrolling along the electronic sign are nice to watch. I'm glad I can't read very well. They'd drive me nuts. Mind you, the station stop announcements do that I can tell you.

The commuters don't seem to mind the voices, but they have an endemic fear of eyes. It is as if  they know. Like someone  has put them in the picture, and they refuse to notice. Mind you, you see some sights on the Tube. They rarely look at each other, let alone strap-hanging monkeys strung out on coffee and captivity. 

Zzzz. Zzzz. Zzzz. Here comes another. Up to the ceiling and suck. Wait for fuzzy charge to kick in and Zzzz. Zzzz. Zzzz...  This could be the last one. The last before they do it for real. With you.

 MIND THE GAP. STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS.