KILL XMAS!

Beat Boxing Day into a bloody pulp

KILL XMAS!



Activate Advent's solvent abuse

Make Michaelmas confess to pre-festive excess

It is not Christmas in September

We've become addicted to the anodyne

KILL XMAS!


Crucify Christmas:

Grab gifting by the goolies

Gouge out its gargantuan voracity

Strap a SUICIDE VEST ON SANTA

Strangle St. Stephen into submission

Rein in Rudolph's red nose frolics

Run rampant over wrapping paper

Save a packet on stamps and cellotape



BLOW UP the baubles

MURDER Mistletoe

DECK Holly

POISON Ivy



Cancel the Radio Times

Curse at the Christmas Crackers

Annihilate the ghosts of Xmases Past

Present and Future

Re-animate the spirit of Scrooge

Nullify Black Friday

Mince Pies into the eyes of elves and the 7 dwarves

Show Snow White back out of the poor door

Assassinate Disney

Pixellate Pixar

Incarcerate the Great Escape

Hide behind the curtains

Embrace humbug with the cat... BAR XMAS 



Liberate turkeys

Goose the vicar

Free the pigs from their blankets

Dream of a low cholesterol festival

when we all stop shopping

Because there's nothing left to buy!

Got any spare change please, mister?

Xmas is coming

The Boss is getting fat

Please put a vegetable in the food bank box

Kids can't live on cans alone

KILL XMAS!



Crucify craven consumption
of plastic crap from China

Acquired to gratify all your worldly desire...
for 5 minutes...

in the name of a charity
that has replaced solidarity and meaning

So KILL XMAS!



Crucify Xmas!

Spit out the sugar-coated sentiment

Turn down the flashing lights

Switch off the Queen's Speech

Stuff satsumas down the mouths of carol singers

from King's College Choir

at midnight mass

set fire to the whole sorry mess

forever…

KILL XMAS

KILL XMAS DEAD!





Peace. Happy 1440/2019*