CINDERELLA, STATE REGISTERED MEME

Cinderella plucked nervously at her bottom lip. The pantomime was late this year. Cinders bit her lip and her shoulders sagged. Buttons said, “I'm a really camp misogynist and am too busy talking to the boys and girls to give a toss about Cinders. Aren't I children?”

“Thanks friend, you're a real Job's comforter,” said Cinders, breathing softly, her lips parted and her dark eyes focussed dreamily inwards, before finding herself in breach of the copyright, held by F.A.Thorpe (publishing) of Leicester, for the large print romantic classic Cinderella SRN.

Cinders bit her lip (again!). Shepokedineffectually at a rice pudding and cursed. As she peered into the milky mess, solidarity and collective action furthest from her mind, she blurted, “Look at my poor blouse! Patriarchy certainly has a lot to answer for! Damn and blast!”

Suddenly, an illegible, slightly boorish, and hopelessly upper-middle class junior doctor made her juices stream. His crisp white starch short-sleeved tunic was actually the one he wore in Cinderella, Dental Hygienist. But no matter now.

“This is a case of diverticulitis with a perforation which has given rise to peritonitis. The patient's bowel sounds are non existent! We must operate nurse. Quick fetch me a marriage proposal,” he instructed, manfully.

The drip continued to feed semiotics and pethidine into the reader's stream of consciousness. Cinders caught her breath in wonderment as around the ankle of her left leg - the miracle come true! - he clamped an enchanting manacle, as used on the famous Nelson Mandela on Robben Island, a possible honeymoon location at Kuoni.

“I love you, but hear this Cinderella. Hark to the word of reason. There shall be no further talk of patriarchy my girl.”

Cinders realized now that she should have done that risk assessment after all. 

“Bollocks!”