PARASITISM

Cloaked in contempt, Carter steps over the homeless thing, whose mask has long slipped in horror at the recoil of the housed and the arrogant, skirts around the subject of her pissed-soaked wheelchair, and squeezes his moobs and three-fold bulging gut into the under-sized smart car that announces the centrality of his agency to commerce.

The law of rent has prompted prone bodies to stretch out and wait for death all over the economic dictatorship known as Cambridge. It also demands he drive out to the Fens to do a photo-shoot of the semi-rural retreat of the region’s only famous millionaire Australasian feminist.

He has remembered the tripod and the digital camera, but has left behind the tablet which lines up the picture in the corner office: The Sheep Shop, formerly the site of an all–female middle-class knitting circle. It too has been on the market far too long for Carter’s comfort.

Carter is comfortable with his third-class degree in BS (their little joke) from a third-rate polytechnic masquerading as a university claiming to be an educational institution in the name of profit. Carter is very comfortable pretending to be an estate agent. To the manor born and bred.

His pink pressed shirt and gold wedding band announce detached caricature and two point two children. If he had any more character, he’d be dangerous.

He answers his expensive phone.

• Not yet, darling. Will do later.
• …………….
• Some shithole near Liverpool I shouldn’t wonder.
• ……………
• How is little two point two this morning?

Paying negligible attention to capitalist patriarchy, and less to his darling, Carter switches to speakerphone so everybody can hear his booming confident baritone and heads for the hill-less Fenlands.

• I’m the global voice of piggery and she’s a sacred cow, said the owner’s agent, referring to the property’s illustrious, brainy Aussie, who is off back down under before she ends up under the daisies in the flattest piece of earth this side of Saffron Walden.
• I’m sorry?
• You will be. Now fuck off! 

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The End.