CACOSMIA

“Now they were two men, like two strange male dogs, having to sniff one another.”  DH Lawrence

Doing nothing may well turn out to be the best option.

Morally and practically, if what you really really really stamp-your-feet-and-scream want is to put on your favourite stockings and suspenders, and ram a Transit packed with explosives into a Disney Store, doing nothing is worthy of the Nobel Peace prize. Heinz Alfred Kissinger has one, after all.

Doing nothing is preferable to terrorism; doing nothing all day is a full-time occupation. When there is no need to awake bolt upright every dawn, travelate to a designated zone to have your time and motions monetized and your mind sucked out, it can be hard work filling the void. Ask any notorious arms dealer. Giving up the game is a bitch.

Punk helped. Now Abba are back and a trillion dollar Apple has taken a big old gigabyte from the Tree of Information. Go on, you know you want to. Download the app now. Plug into the shiny yellow mainframe so that the rich can harvest your vital statistics. Information retrieval: the new black gold. Give us all your data, OFO - or fuck off! Catchy.

Melon uses standing still as a form of resistance. His £9.99 mobile is symptomatic. No smart phoner he. Mobility is essential for the economically inert. Getting nowhere fast takes years of dedication and half-arsed planning.

He has a new street bike, acquired with the power of observation. The five-minute rule. No takers? Then take it. DJ Shadow is a faded dark pink ladies' mountain bike, super chunky tyres underinflated at a constant 25 P.S.I, half a saddle and a complete set of handle bars.

Even though his senior, Trolley takes lessons from the Master in all things street - save personal hygiene tips. He remembers his first encounter. An acid tang leapt out of Melon's musty togs and assaulted Trolley's entire being till he retched and his ears watered.

These days Trolley is grateful to Sanex. Other toxic aluminium-based product is available. He is minded of the science. We are ten times more bacteria than we are human.

To help kill the planet, Melon blows out of his rusty buttonhole, scratches his William Caxton's and re-adjusts his drawstring. Never Mind the Bollocks!...

Sometimes anarchy creates billionaires. Oftentimes billionaires create mayhem. There are data harvesting machines posing as user friendly bicycles all over town. The busy use them. The bored abuse them. The blind stumble over them.

Despite everything, something needs to happen.



IT DISNAE SMELL