A WORK OF FRiCTiON

Disclaimer
This is a work of friction. Names, characters, places, locales and incidents are products of over-active ego fever, and are used in an entirely fractious, facetious and flippant manner.

Faecal matter has been illiberally applied over the very desirability of BBC-like detached third-person omniscience. Passive-aggressive and highly inappropriate references to gratuitous violence, sex, scatology, cheesy sebaceousness and clitoroid crud abound.

Many traits of the non-existent characters, and certain aspects of the narration are fictive re-imaginings made by the original author or one or more members of the author's extended family. As if.

Identifying details and certain points of view have been skewed to protect the anarchy of the author's peace of mind. The sanctity of satire means that any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely purposeful.

In order to maintain anonymity, the narration contains unisex pronouns throughout. In almost all cases, the unreliable narrator (aren't they always?) hepeatedly mansplains their position upon any number of issues about which they know nothing. Whole conversations have been recreated in the full knowledge that inappropriacy and upset may well result. Typical.

In some instances, physical properties, occupations and places of residence so clearly identify somebody really powerful it is to be wondered whether the author is taking liberties - lucky for them, they do not live in Turkey, Thailand, Tajikistan or Texas.

The information on this page is meant to supplement, not replace, individual thought, which like any process involving choice, balance and environmental factors poses inherent risks. The author advises readers to take full responsibility for their own reading and know their limits. Tom Clancy, The Daily Express and Soviet sausage production reports, for example, are to be handled with care.

If this is intended as a substitute for a proper book, the reader should consult a physician in matters relating to his/her mental health, and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may emerge as a result of reading.

Claims trot out to announce that every effort has been made and the self-publiciser disclaims liability and all that jazz; mere lip service to legal malarky - and all because Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer shelled out more than a million fat ones to Princess Irina and her husband Felix the Cat back in the 1930s.

Before engaging with the world as described herein, be sure your equilibrium is tightly packed. Through the comfort zone and beyond!

Good luck.